After Literacy, Comprehension?!

The following questions and answers were collated from past British GCSE exams. -

Geography - Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Sociology - Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology - Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes? A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A. Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised?(e.g.abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

English - Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning. A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A : Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Technology Q : What is a turbine? A : Something an Arab wears on his head.